A story of gambling…and porn. Adapted and improved for Paper Flower by mefloraine hirasawa (the all-lowercase-ness is an important part of her name) and Raph Fail (of Borderline Hikikomori).
Hi, everyone! What, we missed three weeks? Oops.
We were not sure whether we should tell you that our posts were eaten by Rio’s boobs (untrue), they were lost in the abyss of WordPress (not true), mef was sick for two weeks and couldn’t subject herself to these posts (actually true), or that the episodes were so interesting that we couldn’t make fun of them (hahahahaha).
So instead we’re going to tell you that we’re lazy people, and Rio’s not a high priority. I mean, we had to do things like play Minecraft and trim our toenails, and in Raph’s case, catch up on far, far better anime… such as Oniichan no Koto Nanka Zenzen Suki Janain Dakara ne–!! and Freezing
Oh noes! But we’ll do our best to finish the series off now because we love you.
Anyway, since last time things have gotten serious in Rioland. They’re now in a magical, flying casino ((Howard’s Moving Casino) which the bad guys took control of), they met a robot/computer with green hair and a serious tan, and our loli companion found a boyfriend who can levitate stuffed animals. They abandoned Rio, side characters suddenly started getting many lines, they introduced a random character purely for bullying purposes, Rio and Rina took their love to a new level, aaaaand oh yeah, everyone wants to kill Rio now. Er, we mean, challenge her to Gate battles to win magical cards (and also the ownership of the casino).
But this apparently is physically draining, and there’s no way Rio can handle much more! Also, Rina got captured and chained to a card table. With this intensity, we begin the next episode…
…which starts off with thunder! This is great for our flying casino and its inhabitants. I am sure the custumers feel as though they are getting their money’s worth.
“Don’t worry, I haven’t harmed her. I’ve only tied her down…” So apparently the “bad guy” is on Rio’s side after all, making it easier to molest Rina. But before we can cheer, Rina’s chest glows, and glittering weeds appear around the group.
Rio has a drug-induced vision of someone in the hospital, and then everything goes back to normal with Rio as confused as we are. Yay!
Then they BATTLE. The game: guess which hand a tossed coin lands in. But first Rio collapses and her cheeks turn leprous again. Oh no, so it wasn’t the card battles exhausting her: she’s dying!
But nobody cares about Rio, and the show goes on. Cartia Goldschmidt, with enough money forboth very conspicuous implants and fancy, fancy jewelry, opens her fan and then flicks the coin from her finger, becoming both Mitsuko Kongou and Mikoto Misaka in an instant.
And then the enemy of this week, a silver-haired man, catches the coin and uses BRUTE FORCE to crush it. Oh no, what will our hero do?! Instead, she guesses which hand is empty.
Then silver-hair goes into a monologue out loud about how he should have crushed the coin after she chose a hand. Our loli companion calls him out and asks if he’s stupid. Of course not, he exclaims! And no one in his family has been sick for the past 300 years either!
Our loli companion points out that he has been speaking his thoughts aloud, and he cries out in English, “Oh. My. Gaaaaaaaah!”, perhaps channeling dear, sweet Osaka.
The-girl-whose-name-mef-can’t-remember finally catches on.
“There’s no coin in either hand! He’s a cheater!” She is just so quick on the draw.
-SUDDENLY EVERYONE LEAVES RIO ALONE IN THE ROOM-
And Rina has been kidnapped more.
Like, really, what happened.
But then our loli companion’s boyfriend plays a game and regains control of the flying casino. His name is Jack and unfortunately he is not black.
Ahem, anyway, then we get to enjoy the wonderful, broken English complaints of the cowboy from episode four, who is apparently in charge of the computers. Why they put the modern strange cowboy in charge, however, we cannot guess.
Then we cut to Rio, who has rabu rabu (TL note: rabu rabu means love love) flashbacks of Rina – shockingly, only 50% of which contain boobage – and then dashes out the door! What will our hero do?!
Well, she finds Rina.
And then Rina betrays her.
And also challenges her to a gate battle.
mef saw this coming. Raph didn’t watch the past three episodes and did not see this coming. We do not know if you watched the past episodes or saw this coming, but IT HAPPENED.
(Though mef actually anticipated this from the time Rina joined the cast, somehow.)
And then Ze Pimp and some others run into the room. But Ze Pimp. runs. So much fanservice this episode, kyaa~
Anyway, it turns out Rina betrayed Rio to get revenge on her mother (voiced by Ami Koshimizu, thus making Rio – Rainbow Gate! yet another #thingraphwatchedforamikoshimizu), who she was using to cheat on Rio. But Rio’s mother seduced Rina’s father away from her mother, so her mother
died remained unconscious for all of her days. Also, Rina’s dad is Rio’s dad too.
Soap opera at its best!
And after this, the soap opera continues, with Raph dying from fangirling too much to Ami Koshimizu’s apparently very recognisable fake-coughing.
Aaaaaaaanyway, the bad guy tells some random girl to play dramatic music on the piano, and Rina and Rio’s battle begins. Also, Rio ~enters Rina’s heart~. Remember, kids, incestuous heart-sex is wrong!
Then she collapses.
Then Rina wins.
Next episode: BL.